1 00:00:02,708 --> 00:00:04,520 Phil, honey, you're still up. 2 00:00:04,521 --> 00:00:06,302 Okay, how does this sound? 3 00:00:06,303 --> 00:00:08,482 Mitchell, I love you very much, 4 00:00:08,483 --> 00:00:11,046 I not only love you, but admire you, 5 00:00:11,047 --> 00:00:13,721 - and someday I hope to... - Are you firing him or proposing to him? 6 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,970 Honey, this was supposed to be a part-time job. 7 00:00:15,971 --> 00:00:17,948 He was gonna be done in the summer anyway. 8 00:00:17,949 --> 00:00:20,498 - Just be direct. - I should have warned him. 9 00:00:20,499 --> 00:00:21,073 How do you tell someone 10 00:00:21,074 --> 00:00:23,098 they have a reputation for being lazy? 11 00:00:23,353 --> 00:00:24,436 Mitchell? Lazy? 12 00:00:24,437 --> 00:00:26,866 Yeah. Yeah. He handed in a couple of contracts late, 13 00:00:26,867 --> 00:00:28,254 but I didn't want to say anything 14 00:00:28,255 --> 00:00:30,329 because he's practically doing this for free. 15 00:00:30,385 --> 00:00:31,243 I can't do this! 16 00:00:31,244 --> 00:00:33,397 This isn't the face of a cold-blooded hatchet man. 17 00:00:34,351 --> 00:00:35,425 Will you do it? 18 00:00:36,386 --> 00:00:37,435 Hey. 19 00:00:37,857 --> 00:00:40,729 Oh, I'm sorry. Did we wake you up? 20 00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:42,416 No, I was up. 21 00:00:42,562 --> 00:00:43,734 I'm worried about tomorrow. 22 00:00:43,735 --> 00:00:45,835 My art teacher acts like I don't exist, 23 00:00:45,836 --> 00:00:49,054 but I have one last chance to impress him at our year-end art fair. 24 00:00:49,111 --> 00:00:52,015 A few students are doing living versions of famous paintings. 25 00:00:52,016 --> 00:00:54,554 I've chosen this one, and I'm using my own family. 26 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,755 Brilliant, right? 27 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,462 When I told him, he said, "that's nice, Alice." 28 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:00,051 It's been a year. 29 00:01:00,345 --> 00:01:02,193 Alice? Really? 30 00:01:02,223 --> 00:01:03,577 Honey, do you think you're nervous 31 00:01:03,678 --> 00:01:05,583 because you've got a little crush on Mr. Jarvis? 32 00:01:05,584 --> 00:01:07,422 - No. - Are you sure? Because I've seen the way you look at him-- 33 00:01:07,423 --> 00:01:09,637 Sounds like you're the one with the crush! 34 00:01:09,871 --> 00:01:12,098 I've just never had a teacher not like me before. 35 00:01:12,099 --> 00:01:13,350 - Well, Ms. Davis. - Mm. 36 00:01:13,351 --> 00:01:14,912 Please. She's a gym teacher. 37 00:01:14,913 --> 00:01:17,396 She is to teaching what Dr. Seuss is to medicine. 38 00:01:17,461 --> 00:01:19,255 And to think she didn't like you. 39 00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:22,203 You? What's your problem? 40 00:01:22,204 --> 00:01:24,563 Nothing. I'm just excited for tomorrow. 41 00:01:24,564 --> 00:01:26,995 I'm getting a medal at school because I put out a fire. 42 00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:30,263 Maybe that's what I should be when I grow up... 43 00:01:30,856 --> 00:01:32,993 A professional medal-getter. 44 00:01:35,942 --> 00:01:37,143 Luke, what happened? 45 00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:38,472 I don't know. 46 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:42,031 I was just walking by and I smelled flames. 47 00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:43,361 I was there. 48 00:01:43,815 --> 00:01:44,574 I don't like this. 49 00:01:44,575 --> 00:01:45,813 We're not supposed to be in here. 50 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:47,060 Just keep a lookout! 51 00:01:47,061 --> 00:01:49,538 We're ten seconds away from creating luketonium. 52 00:01:51,117 --> 00:01:53,266 - Oh, crap! - Look what you did! 53 00:01:54,954 --> 00:01:56,079 Luke, what happened? 54 00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:57,462 I don't know. 55 00:01:57,615 --> 00:02:01,037 I was just walking by and I smelled flames. 56 00:02:03,767 --> 00:02:05,551 Okay, guys, you're gonna be dragging tomorrow 57 00:02:05,552 --> 00:02:07,070 if you don't go to bed right now. Let's go. Go. 58 00:02:07,071 --> 00:02:09,057 Fine. Come on, Alice. 59 00:02:09,226 --> 00:02:10,518 I'll be up in a minute. 60 00:02:14,181 --> 00:02:15,163 "Mitchell, 61 00:02:15,662 --> 00:02:17,522 "I can't tell you how hard... 62 00:02:17,933 --> 00:02:19,021 How hard this..." 63 00:02:19,022 --> 00:02:21,740 No, that's-- no, it's not personal enough. 64 00:02:26,983 --> 00:02:28,659 Okay, okay. 65 00:02:28,660 --> 00:02:31,596 "I can't tell you how hurt and angry this makes me, 66 00:02:31,597 --> 00:02:33,812 "but you've been late too many times. 67 00:02:33,813 --> 00:02:34,794 I'll need your keys." 68 00:02:34,795 --> 00:02:36,673 Daddy, no! I'm so sorry! 69 00:02:36,674 --> 00:02:38,648 Honey, I didn't hear you come downstairs. 70 00:02:38,649 --> 00:02:39,783 You couldn't sleep, either? 71 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,308 Uh, yeah. 72 00:02:41,309 --> 00:02:47,180 No, there's just, like, a lot on my mind with graduation, 73 00:02:47,648 --> 00:02:50,084 and what to wear. How does this look? 74 00:02:50,228 --> 00:02:52,352 Wait a second. You're carrying your shoes. 75 00:02:53,188 --> 00:02:55,188 How am I supposed to judge the whole outfit? 76 00:02:55,189 --> 00:02:56,137 Put 'em on. 77 00:03:06,617 --> 00:03:09,717 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 78 00:03:09,881 --> 00:03:12,043 So make sure you give this menu here 79 00:03:12,044 --> 00:03:13,598 a good, thorough reading. 80 00:03:13,966 --> 00:03:15,831 - Soup. - You didn't even look at it. 81 00:03:16,725 --> 00:03:18,872 - Soup. - Check out what's below the soup-- 82 00:03:18,873 --> 00:03:19,881 Sandwiches. 83 00:03:19,882 --> 00:03:22,610 Have you check out what is below this outfit? 84 00:03:22,611 --> 00:03:24,688 This doesn't come from sandwiches. 85 00:03:24,689 --> 00:03:25,704 Look! 86 00:03:26,447 --> 00:03:28,268 "The Jay Pritchett"? 87 00:03:28,422 --> 00:03:29,994 I don't understand. 88 00:03:30,128 --> 00:03:31,992 They named you after a sandwich? 89 00:03:31,993 --> 00:03:34,214 No! They named a sandwich after me! 90 00:03:34,232 --> 00:03:36,494 "Turkey, bacon, Swiss cheese, 91 00:03:36,495 --> 00:03:38,251 red peppers, anchovies on wheat"? 92 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:40,060 Most people would stop after the salty bacon, 93 00:03:40,061 --> 00:03:41,821 but I double down with the anchovies. 94 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:44,303 Were you making a sandwich or attracting deer? 95 00:03:44,304 --> 00:03:45,985 Is this bum bothering you, miss? 96 00:03:45,986 --> 00:03:47,283 Oh, I should get a picture of this-- 97 00:03:47,284 --> 00:03:49,742 an actual waitress sighting in this dump. 98 00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:52,635 I took a chance and put in an order for your sandwich, 99 00:03:52,636 --> 00:03:55,756 although most people like their Jay Pritchetts to go. 100 00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:56,963 What's happening? 101 00:03:56,964 --> 00:03:58,361 Gloria, it's Maxine. 102 00:03:58,362 --> 00:04:00,050 So you're married to Jay. 103 00:04:00,077 --> 00:04:02,428 Where'd you tie up your seeing eye dog? 104 00:04:02,429 --> 00:04:04,062 No, no, I'm not, um... 105 00:04:05,087 --> 00:04:06,860 Okay, I get it. I get it. 106 00:04:06,861 --> 00:04:09,273 Here's that number for that neck doctor I want you to see. 107 00:04:09,274 --> 00:04:10,853 - Thanks. - What's wrong with your neck? 108 00:04:10,854 --> 00:04:13,509 For 30 years, I've been hearing it's a handball injury. 109 00:04:13,510 --> 00:04:16,046 But it always seems to get worse with stress. 110 00:04:16,070 --> 00:04:17,977 Maybe it's that audit he's got coming up. 111 00:04:17,978 --> 00:04:19,463 - Audit? - It's nothing. 112 00:04:19,583 --> 00:04:22,510 Oh, isn't that cute? He doesn't want you to worry. 113 00:04:23,385 --> 00:04:24,881 Here's your sandwich. 114 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,439 Now you should worry. 115 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,702 Look at it-- my prettiest child. 116 00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:30,703 Why didn't you tell me about your neck? 117 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,211 It's fine. Take a bite. 118 00:04:32,212 --> 00:04:34,081 - Your company's getting audited? - Nothing! 119 00:04:34,082 --> 00:04:35,393 Three bad days, then it's over. 120 00:04:35,394 --> 00:04:37,464 Come on! I'm-- I'm anxious to hear what you think. 121 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:41,054 I see it growing on ya. 122 00:04:41,116 --> 00:04:42,881 It's like Maxine when she first tried it. 123 00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:44,119 - You know, she-- - I don't like it. 124 00:04:44,262 --> 00:04:47,151 - You probably didn't get all-- - Jay, I try it. I don't like it. 125 00:04:47,778 --> 00:04:48,788 That's all you can say? 126 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,502 It tastes bad in my mouth. 127 00:04:50,503 --> 00:04:52,343 It's like a fish and a Turkey 128 00:04:52,344 --> 00:04:54,689 beat themselves to death with a pepper. 129 00:04:54,832 --> 00:04:57,193 Okay, fair enough. Maybe a little picky, though, 130 00:04:57,194 --> 00:04:59,107 from someone who prepared a Colombian specialty 131 00:04:59,108 --> 00:05:01,251 and said, "why are you not eating the hooves? 132 00:05:01,252 --> 00:05:02,777 They're the best part." 133 00:05:04,686 --> 00:05:05,663 I'm back! 134 00:05:05,698 --> 00:05:07,088 Oh, hey, Uncle Cam. 135 00:05:07,895 --> 00:05:10,049 Oh, thanks again for picking me up last night. 136 00:05:10,050 --> 00:05:12,185 You're welcome, but you have to be more careful. 137 00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:13,772 I was the responsible one. 138 00:05:13,773 --> 00:05:15,428 Lisa was drinking, and I took her keys, 139 00:05:15,429 --> 00:05:17,046 - and then e-- - I understand. 140 00:05:17,047 --> 00:05:19,575 My senior year, I had a pretty crazy night myself 141 00:05:19,576 --> 00:05:22,209 involving a bottle of corn mash and an overturned plow. 142 00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:24,363 - Seriously? - Yeah. You don't know terror until you've had to 143 00:05:24,364 --> 00:05:26,128 stare down the eyes of a Missouri State Trooper 144 00:05:26,129 --> 00:05:27,826 and talk your way out of a P.U.I. 145 00:05:30,757 --> 00:05:32,402 Honey, you don't drink coffee. 146 00:05:32,449 --> 00:05:33,535 I do when I've been up half the night 147 00:05:33,536 --> 00:05:35,388 worrying about a project that's only one-third done, 148 00:05:35,389 --> 00:05:37,314 and I still have an apron to sew, scenery to paint, 149 00:05:37,315 --> 00:05:39,433 plus my normal crushing workload. So... 150 00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,463 Unless you have a better way for me to stimula-- 151 00:05:43,465 --> 00:05:44,431 Oh, God. 152 00:05:44,465 --> 00:05:45,730 God, coffee's bitter. 153 00:05:45,731 --> 00:05:47,135 That was your first sip? 154 00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:49,348 Okay, I got the chafing dish, 155 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,822 salt and pepper shakers-- perfect matches, both. 156 00:05:52,466 --> 00:05:54,226 I may have to readjust my grapes. 157 00:05:54,227 --> 00:05:57,409 Oh. Ow. I'll just give you a little privacy. 158 00:05:58,154 --> 00:06:00,918 Welcome back to the light show. Hi. 159 00:06:00,919 --> 00:06:02,203 Hi, Lily. 160 00:06:02,258 --> 00:06:03,219 Hi, daddy. 161 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:05,523 Lily... 162 00:06:05,730 --> 00:06:06,957 Sweetheart, no. 163 00:06:06,958 --> 00:06:09,460 No, no, no, no. We're-- we're not gonna do that today. 164 00:06:09,461 --> 00:06:10,097 Actually-- actually, Claire, 165 00:06:10,098 --> 00:06:12,739 we're--we're trying not to use the word "no" so much. 166 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:13,780 We just read a book that said 167 00:06:13,781 --> 00:06:16,029 - children learn to rebel against that word. - Uh-huh. 168 00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:19,111 So we redirect her into a new activity instead. 169 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,769 Oh. Here-- well, just watch this. 170 00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:23,434 Lily, sweetie, hi. It's daddy here. 171 00:06:23,435 --> 00:06:25,579 Would you like to listen to some music? 172 00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:27,718 Okay. There you go. 173 00:06:27,789 --> 00:06:28,848 See? 174 00:06:28,961 --> 00:06:30,285 Every new generation thinks 175 00:06:30,286 --> 00:06:32,290 they have cracked the code on child rearing. 176 00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,623 What's the latest theory? Never say "no." 177 00:06:34,857 --> 00:06:37,238 I say "no" every day in this house. 178 00:06:37,239 --> 00:06:38,996 But at night, she's a "yes" machine. 179 00:06:38,997 --> 00:06:39,884 No. 180 00:06:41,465 --> 00:06:44,742 Oh, it doesn't seem that she is redirecting her own energy 181 00:06:44,743 --> 00:06:46,329 as much as using a lot of ours. 182 00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:48,721 But do you see how she's slowly transitioning 183 00:06:48,722 --> 00:06:51,064 from the lights to the music? 184 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:53,584 Yeah. Yeah, I do. 185 00:06:53,671 --> 00:06:55,341 It's hard to believe there was ever a time 186 00:06:55,342 --> 00:06:57,688 when we just said, "stop doing that." 187 00:06:59,830 --> 00:07:00,697 Oh. The garbage disposal. 188 00:07:00,698 --> 00:07:02,447 Lily, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 189 00:07:02,448 --> 00:07:05,835 Now let's redirect you into a nap, huh? 190 00:07:05,836 --> 00:07:07,395 Actually, we're doing this new thing 191 00:07:07,396 --> 00:07:10,047 where we let her tell us when she wants to take a nap. 192 00:07:10,048 --> 00:07:12,254 Uh-huh. It's called "being your own nap Captain." 193 00:07:13,376 --> 00:07:14,314 Come on, sweetie. 194 00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,994 - Hey! Hey. - Phil. 195 00:07:22,995 --> 00:07:24,451 Hey. Did you ring the doorbell? 196 00:07:24,452 --> 00:07:27,263 Oh, no, 'cause I have these two coffees. 197 00:07:27,264 --> 00:07:28,327 One is for you. 198 00:07:28,422 --> 00:07:28,984 Thank you. 199 00:07:28,985 --> 00:07:31,340 Here's my life-- a full-time job, 200 00:07:31,341 --> 00:07:33,914 a 3-year-old, and a second one on the way. 201 00:07:33,915 --> 00:07:35,529 And as a favor, 202 00:07:35,530 --> 00:07:38,074 I agreed to do a little work for Phil's agency. 203 00:07:38,075 --> 00:07:40,314 The problem is, I'm very good, 204 00:07:40,702 --> 00:07:43,224 and the more I do, the more they want me. 205 00:07:43,225 --> 00:07:45,311 I-I even turned in a few assignments late 206 00:07:45,312 --> 00:07:47,351 so that they'd fall out of love with me a little bit. 207 00:07:48,105 --> 00:07:49,144 Right. 208 00:07:49,495 --> 00:07:50,801 How-- how long have you been standing here? 209 00:07:50,802 --> 00:07:52,279 Are-- are you-- are you all right? 210 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:53,019 Oh, yeah. 211 00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:54,708 'Cause you're-- you're really blinking. 212 00:07:57,229 --> 00:07:58,741 I'm a stress blinker, 213 00:07:58,742 --> 00:08:02,140 um, and what really gets me going is confrontation. 214 00:08:02,141 --> 00:08:04,593 I hate it. I-I avoid it at all costs. 215 00:08:04,594 --> 00:08:05,590 Terrible at it. 216 00:08:05,591 --> 00:08:07,877 Once, I, uh, I tried to break up with a girl, 217 00:08:07,878 --> 00:08:09,512 and I danced around it so much, 218 00:08:09,513 --> 00:08:11,577 she didn't know I had broken up with her. 219 00:08:12,547 --> 00:08:14,276 20 years later, we're still married. 220 00:08:14,539 --> 00:08:18,079 I am... really... sorry... 221 00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:20,830 About the cold coffee. 222 00:08:20,831 --> 00:08:22,985 It's not that cold. It's lukewarm, so... 223 00:08:23,978 --> 00:08:25,877 Funny story about that expression-- 224 00:08:25,878 --> 00:08:28,461 when the kids were younger, um, we had a, uh, 225 00:08:28,462 --> 00:08:29,750 - a wading pool... - Uh-huh. 226 00:08:29,751 --> 00:08:31,466 And occasionally, Luke would have an accident, 227 00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:33,077 and, um, Alex would scream, 228 00:08:33,078 --> 00:08:35,114 and we'd say, um, "it's okay, honey, 229 00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,025 he's just making it lukewarm." 230 00:08:40,255 --> 00:08:41,618 - Wow, so-- so - I gotta get going, 231 00:08:41,619 --> 00:08:43,051 - but I-I'll see-- - Okay, wait! 232 00:08:43,052 --> 00:08:44,607 I'm just gonna come straight out and say it. 233 00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,706 Mitchell, you've done a wonderful job for the agency 234 00:08:46,707 --> 00:08:49,008 since you decided you'd help us out for just a little bit. 235 00:08:49,009 --> 00:08:50,857 And we couldn't ask for more, could we? 236 00:08:51,382 --> 00:08:53,145 I wish it didn't have to end. 237 00:08:53,754 --> 00:08:55,978 In fact, if it was up to me, you'd stay on forever... 238 00:08:55,979 --> 00:08:58,362 - Phil, Phil... - But it is not just up to me, is it? 239 00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,420 - So... I... - Phil, I saw this coming, 240 00:09:00,421 --> 00:09:02,395 and-- and look... 241 00:09:03,492 --> 00:09:06,549 I bailed. I made an excuse and left. 242 00:09:06,911 --> 00:09:08,718 But I-I-I've gotta be straight with him. 243 00:09:08,719 --> 00:09:11,167 "Phil, I cannot stay on with your firm forever." 244 00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:13,845 Oh! God, it's gonna crush him. 245 00:09:15,395 --> 00:09:17,090 Maybe I can get Claire to do it. 246 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:18,886 Well, that was easy! 247 00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:23,686 We're really proud of you, buddy. See you at the ceremony. 248 00:09:27,518 --> 00:09:29,482 - You're not a hero. - I put out a fire. 249 00:09:29,483 --> 00:09:30,453 A fire you started. 250 00:09:30,454 --> 00:09:32,002 - Was there a fire? - Yes. 251 00:09:32,003 --> 00:09:33,189 - Did I put it out? - That's not-- 252 00:09:33,190 --> 00:09:34,615 Answer the question. 253 00:09:34,891 --> 00:09:35,813 Yes. 254 00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:37,302 I'm getting an award for it. 255 00:09:37,550 --> 00:09:39,306 If they gave awards for starting fires, 256 00:09:39,307 --> 00:09:40,730 I'd be getting one of those, too. 257 00:09:40,731 --> 00:09:42,693 I know you have a conscience, Luke. 258 00:09:43,373 --> 00:09:46,260 Do you see this flag? It stands for Justice. 259 00:09:46,446 --> 00:09:48,261 So when that fire marshall gets here, 260 00:09:48,262 --> 00:09:50,035 I know you're going to look at that flag 261 00:09:50,036 --> 00:09:51,274 and do the right thing. 262 00:09:58,949 --> 00:10:01,683 You were very quiet all the way home. 263 00:10:01,806 --> 00:10:04,716 Are you upset at me because I honked at that old lady? 264 00:10:04,717 --> 00:10:06,846 Normally, we leave the honking to the driver, 265 00:10:06,847 --> 00:10:08,099 but I'm used to it. 266 00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:09,819 Is it because of the sandwich? 267 00:10:09,820 --> 00:10:11,884 Ah, you maybe could have eaten half of it... 268 00:10:12,058 --> 00:10:13,380 Said a couple of nice things. 269 00:10:13,381 --> 00:10:15,129 It's just a sandwich, Jay. 270 00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:17,487 It's not about the delicious sandwich, Gloria. 271 00:10:17,488 --> 00:10:20,379 It's about being respectful of a person's feelings. 272 00:10:20,429 --> 00:10:21,884 But I was just being honest. 273 00:10:21,885 --> 00:10:22,807 You don't have to be honest 274 00:10:22,808 --> 00:10:24,477 about every little thing in a relationship. 275 00:10:24,478 --> 00:10:27,111 Some things you say, some things you don't. 276 00:10:27,145 --> 00:10:28,027 Oh? 277 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,618 What are the things that you don't say? 278 00:10:29,619 --> 00:10:31,063 Gloria, I really don't wanna do this anymore. 279 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:31,715 Oh, really? 280 00:10:31,716 --> 00:10:33,975 But you cannot just try to teach me a lesson, 281 00:10:33,976 --> 00:10:35,081 - and then not even-- - Okay, fine. 282 00:10:35,082 --> 00:10:36,144 I don't say this, 283 00:10:36,145 --> 00:10:38,833 but it... bothers me a little bit 284 00:10:38,834 --> 00:10:41,747 that you're just a tiny bit... loud. 285 00:10:41,748 --> 00:10:42,837 - Loud? - Not all the time. 286 00:10:42,838 --> 00:10:44,576 Only when you, you know, when you talk. 287 00:10:45,381 --> 00:10:46,780 So I embarrass you? 288 00:10:46,781 --> 00:10:48,514 Gloria... what? 289 00:10:48,875 --> 00:10:51,418 - Am I being too loud again? - All right. Buckle up. 290 00:10:51,419 --> 00:10:54,570 Oh, I'm gonna go and try to do the laundry, 291 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:55,912 and I'm gonna do it very quietly 292 00:10:55,913 --> 00:10:59,230 so I don't bother you. Maybe Manny can help me. 293 00:10:59,719 --> 00:11:01,614 Manny! 294 00:11:01,615 --> 00:11:03,727 - I get it. - Manny! 295 00:11:03,728 --> 00:11:04,889 I get it. 296 00:11:07,897 --> 00:11:09,579 Now you're not even making any noise. 297 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,756 Okay, this is way too many grapes, 298 00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:15,912 and this spoon is modern day, 299 00:11:15,913 --> 00:11:18,279 so if we use it, everyone at the table has to react in shock 300 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,675 at the spoon from the future. 301 00:11:20,145 --> 00:11:22,257 - Okay. - And that went down the drain. 302 00:11:22,258 --> 00:11:23,689 And you need a nap. 303 00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:25,074 You need a nap. 304 00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,908 I got it. Ooh, I lost it. Shoot. 305 00:11:27,909 --> 00:11:30,381 Let me know if I can eliminate any distractions for you. 306 00:11:30,382 --> 00:11:32,232 Oh, I got it. No, I got a finger on it. There it is. 307 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,603 Oh, lost it again. 308 00:11:33,756 --> 00:11:35,503 Maybe you should just wait until it comes to you. 309 00:11:35,504 --> 00:11:38,255 You know, make it the Captain of its own spoon platoon. 310 00:11:38,256 --> 00:11:40,281 I understand the point you're making, Claire, but... 311 00:11:40,517 --> 00:11:41,515 Oh! Now I'm stuck. 312 00:11:41,516 --> 00:11:42,660 Yeah, Cam, you are stuck. 313 00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:45,086 You are stuck on a philosophy that clearly doesn't work. 314 00:11:45,087 --> 00:11:47,834 Sometimes, you need to say "no" to a child. 315 00:11:47,835 --> 00:11:50,398 Yeah, and sometimes you need to say "no" to an adult. 316 00:11:50,399 --> 00:11:53,813 No, Claire. No, I don't need help raising my child. 317 00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:55,778 Oh. Okay. 318 00:11:56,098 --> 00:11:57,101 Sorry. 319 00:11:57,391 --> 00:11:59,258 Guess I-I do have a lot to learn. 320 00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:02,412 Right now, I-I'm looking forward to learning 321 00:12:02,413 --> 00:12:03,736 if you will get your arm out of there 322 00:12:03,737 --> 00:12:06,321 before Lily gets to the garbage disposal switch. 323 00:12:09,727 --> 00:12:12,039 Um... Lily, sweetie! 324 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,650 C-can you do something, please, Claire? 325 00:12:13,651 --> 00:12:15,019 I would like to. Really, I would, 326 00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:16,170 but I would probably just say "no" 327 00:12:16,171 --> 00:12:19,090 and shred her confidence and mangle her self-esteem. 328 00:12:19,091 --> 00:12:20,440 Okay, fine! I'm sorry! Just-- here, 329 00:12:20,648 --> 00:12:22,882 - Stop her! Stop her! Sweetie! - What to do with you? 330 00:12:22,902 --> 00:12:24,321 Claire! Okay! 331 00:12:29,403 --> 00:12:30,316 Ohh! Yes! 332 00:12:35,146 --> 00:12:37,166 - You think that's funny, don't ya? - Yes! 333 00:12:37,167 --> 00:12:39,306 Yes. Well, it's wicked, Claire. It's wicked. 334 00:12:39,307 --> 00:12:40,803 Come on. We're leaving, Lily! 335 00:12:41,077 --> 00:12:41,983 Lily! 336 00:12:42,085 --> 00:12:45,783 It's living art. We stay perfectly still for 90 seconds, 337 00:12:45,784 --> 00:12:47,082 basically doing nothing. 338 00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:48,506 Sounds like my first wife. 339 00:12:48,630 --> 00:12:50,495 I don't know. She always moved for me. 340 00:12:50,496 --> 00:12:52,752 As long as you both agree it was only 90 seconds. 341 00:12:52,753 --> 00:12:54,645 Two nerds with one stone! 342 00:12:54,886 --> 00:12:56,628 I love working in an office. 343 00:12:56,629 --> 00:12:58,695 Is that your brother-in-law? I thought you fired him. 344 00:12:58,696 --> 00:13:00,379 I did, before work. 345 00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:01,360 Then what's he doing here? 346 00:13:01,361 --> 00:13:03,141 Is he disgruntled? He looks disgruntled. 347 00:13:03,142 --> 00:13:04,713 No, he always looks like that. 348 00:13:05,119 --> 00:13:07,408 Hey. How's it going? 349 00:13:07,409 --> 00:13:08,867 Hey, hey. Listen-- 350 00:13:09,051 --> 00:13:10,303 - Okay, I know this is uncomfortable... - Mm-hmm. 351 00:13:10,304 --> 00:13:12,946 But we really need to talk about my future here. 352 00:13:12,947 --> 00:13:14,352 But I-I-I thought we-- 353 00:13:14,353 --> 00:13:16,226 No, I know. I know I led you to believe 354 00:13:16,227 --> 00:13:18,203 that I'd be able to stay on here indefinitely, 355 00:13:18,204 --> 00:13:19,568 and--and... O-okay, 356 00:13:19,569 --> 00:13:20,549 - don't get all blinky. - Oh. 357 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,914 - No, it's not all bad news, okay? - Okay. 358 00:13:22,915 --> 00:13:24,796 You will have me until July, like we agreed. 359 00:13:24,797 --> 00:13:26,182 - Okay, great. - Yes. 360 00:13:26,183 --> 00:13:28,129 Hey, could you jump on the elevator with me real quick? 361 00:13:28,130 --> 00:13:30,400 Yes. Yes. I could use a hand carrying up some stuff from my car. 362 00:13:31,655 --> 00:13:35,019 Oh! My goodness. I probably need some empty boxes, don't I? 363 00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:36,446 You know what? You head down, 364 00:13:36,447 --> 00:13:37,633 I'll meet you at the glass doors. 365 00:13:37,634 --> 00:13:38,550 There was something else. What was it? 366 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,890 I know it's in there. Oh, yeah, you're fired. 367 00:13:39,891 --> 00:13:42,110 What? F-fired?! 368 00:13:43,429 --> 00:13:45,115 W-what's going on with these things? 369 00:13:46,468 --> 00:13:47,312 You trying to open 'em? 370 00:13:47,313 --> 00:13:48,320 Mm-hmm. 371 00:13:48,473 --> 00:13:50,452 I guess I better... get somebody. 372 00:13:50,453 --> 00:13:51,696 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait-- 373 00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:52,950 you're firing me? 374 00:13:53,147 --> 00:13:54,703 I-I don't even like this job. 375 00:13:54,704 --> 00:13:55,921 That can't be safe. 376 00:13:55,997 --> 00:13:58,063 - Is someone trapped in there? - The guy they fired. 377 00:13:58,064 --> 00:13:59,349 Oh, the lazy guy? 378 00:13:59,350 --> 00:14:00,272 Lazy?! 379 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,600 You handed in a couple of things late. 380 00:14:01,601 --> 00:14:02,882 I should have warned you. 381 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:04,303 I'm terrible at breaking bad news. 382 00:14:04,304 --> 00:14:05,756 Well, then why did you come over to my house 383 00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:06,986 and tell me how great I was? 384 00:14:06,987 --> 00:14:08,609 That was me trying to fire you! 385 00:14:09,051 --> 00:14:11,999 I haven't felt like this since I tried to break up with Claire 20 years ago. 386 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:12,943 Someone's stuck again? 387 00:14:12,944 --> 00:14:15,064 That lawyer with the attitude they just fired. 388 00:14:15,065 --> 00:14:16,552 They said it was your attitude, 389 00:14:16,759 --> 00:14:18,481 like you were doing us a favor. 390 00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:20,668 I was doing you a favor! 391 00:14:20,755 --> 00:14:23,155 - Why didn't he get the stairs like everyone else? - Lazy. 392 00:14:25,697 --> 00:14:27,797 Don't worry, he can't get you. 393 00:14:27,797 --> 00:14:31,097 Two hours I got stuck in there with an entire office of people staring at me. 394 00:14:31,597 --> 00:14:33,097 I finally had to lie down. 395 00:14:35,111 --> 00:14:36,231 Didn't help my reputation. 396 00:14:39,903 --> 00:14:40,949 Figures. 397 00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:54,000 You guys nailed it. 398 00:14:54,616 --> 00:14:56,034 Dude, that was surreal. 399 00:14:56,377 --> 00:14:57,647 - Get it? - Dad, come on! 400 00:14:57,648 --> 00:14:59,472 We have a minute to set up! 401 00:15:00,106 --> 00:15:01,612 Where are Mitchell and Cam? 402 00:15:01,678 --> 00:15:04,424 Hey, Manny. Thanks for what you said before about the flag. 403 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:05,688 It really got me thinking. 404 00:15:05,689 --> 00:15:07,084 I knew you had a conscience, Luke. 405 00:15:07,085 --> 00:15:09,276 And more importantly, you've got a good... 406 00:15:09,656 --> 00:15:10,505 You didn't. 407 00:15:10,506 --> 00:15:12,068 Yep. And thanks to you, 408 00:15:12,069 --> 00:15:14,661 I had them move the ceremony to right under the flag. 409 00:15:14,726 --> 00:15:16,139 I'll sign a picture for you. 410 00:15:18,329 --> 00:15:20,344 Oh, there you are. I was afraid you weren't coming. 411 00:15:20,345 --> 00:15:21,406 It was a discussion. 412 00:15:21,407 --> 00:15:22,284 If we weren't gonna show up, 413 00:15:22,285 --> 00:15:24,236 we would have clearly let you know, 414 00:15:24,237 --> 00:15:25,883 and not humiliated you in public. 415 00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:27,061 If it's any consolation, 416 00:15:27,062 --> 00:15:28,259 the lawyer we hired to replace you 417 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,070 is already suing the elevator company. 418 00:15:30,071 --> 00:15:31,437 Ow. You're sitting on my hand. 419 00:15:31,438 --> 00:15:33,551 Be thankful you have two. I almost lost one today. 420 00:15:33,552 --> 00:15:34,651 Oh, stop being such a baby. 421 00:15:34,652 --> 00:15:35,983 She was nowhere near that switch. 422 00:15:35,984 --> 00:15:38,342 Shh! Keep your voices down. We're about to go on. 423 00:15:38,343 --> 00:15:39,369 Why you looking at me? 424 00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:41,738 Am I too loud? Is that what everybody thinks? 425 00:15:41,739 --> 00:15:44,030 - What? - There's a backstory here you don't wanna know about. 426 00:15:44,031 --> 00:15:46,671 - I want turkey. - Save your appetite, baby girl. 427 00:15:46,672 --> 00:15:47,773 And don't forget, afterwards, 428 00:15:47,774 --> 00:15:49,068 we're going to Lenny's for a bite to eat-- 429 00:15:49,069 --> 00:15:50,919 more than a bite if you value my feelings. 430 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,657 Oh! Great, we get to see Maxine. 431 00:15:52,658 --> 00:15:54,607 What? You know Maxine, too? 432 00:15:54,608 --> 00:15:56,128 Oh, we all know Maxine. Love. 433 00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:57,457 Second-best hugger in the world, 434 00:15:57,458 --> 00:16:00,209 after Mr. Burt Reynolds. Story to follow. 435 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:02,094 All right, guys, this will all be over in 90 seconds. 436 00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,711 - Hold your poses. - Okay. 437 00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,342 I really wanna impress Mr. Gorgeous. 438 00:16:06,046 --> 00:16:07,296 Jarvis! Shut up. 439 00:16:08,023 --> 00:16:09,822 Hey, Mitch, I know this isn't a good time, 440 00:16:09,823 --> 00:16:11,208 I-I just want you to know, 441 00:16:11,391 --> 00:16:13,327 - I'm really-- - I know, Phil.You're really sorry, okay? 442 00:16:13,328 --> 00:16:15,798 But this is gonna take me a little time to get over, all right? 443 00:16:15,890 --> 00:16:18,228 Actually, I was gonna say I'm really gonna need your parking pass. 444 00:16:18,229 --> 00:16:19,114 What?! 445 00:16:19,115 --> 00:16:22,327 Our next stage presentation will be Alex Dunphy's interpretation 446 00:16:22,328 --> 00:16:26,083 of Norman Rockwell's 1943 painting "Freedom from want." 447 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,563 How do you sleep at night, Luke? 448 00:16:28,564 --> 00:16:30,375 - With a medal around my neck. - Shh! 449 00:16:30,376 --> 00:16:32,327 - I want Turkey. - Lily, no! 450 00:16:32,328 --> 00:16:33,508 She doesn't understand that word. 451 00:16:33,509 --> 00:16:34,527 Cram it, Claire. 452 00:16:34,528 --> 00:16:36,172 Control your child, Cam. 453 00:16:36,173 --> 00:16:38,335 It's not that difficult. I've raised three. 454 00:16:38,336 --> 00:16:39,337 - Really? - Cam! 455 00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:41,496 Why don't you ask Haley what time she got home last night? 456 00:16:41,497 --> 00:16:43,570 - Uncle Cam! - Sorry, dear. Collateral damage. 457 00:16:43,571 --> 00:16:45,000 - What is he talking about? - Shh! 458 00:16:45,001 --> 00:16:45,812 Your arms are shaking. 459 00:16:45,813 --> 00:16:46,540 Oh, yeah, 460 00:16:46,541 --> 00:16:49,433 I'm sure that the great Maxine can do a better job! 461 00:16:49,470 --> 00:16:51,486 You can criticize my parenting all you like, Cam, 462 00:16:51,487 --> 00:16:53,470 but my son just won a medal. 463 00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:54,733 For a fire he started. 464 00:16:54,734 --> 00:16:56,078 Luke, is that true? 465 00:16:57,812 --> 00:16:59,696 How long? It's getting heavy! 466 00:16:59,697 --> 00:17:01,204 You're not getting that parking pass back. 467 00:17:01,205 --> 00:17:02,595 I tried to let you down easy. 468 00:17:02,596 --> 00:17:04,464 You don't know how to talk to people, Phil. 469 00:17:04,495 --> 00:17:06,561 It's just like when Claire didn't even know you dumped her. 470 00:17:06,562 --> 00:17:08,010 - What? - When did dad dump you? 471 00:17:08,011 --> 00:17:09,987 I didn't dumr! I just tried to! 472 00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:11,640 I am losing it! 473 00:17:11,641 --> 00:17:13,039 Just a few more seconds! 474 00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,173 I want turkey. 475 00:17:15,174 --> 00:17:17,104 Lily, no! 476 00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:20,034 We really are trying to not say that word. 477 00:17:20,737 --> 00:17:21,775 B-minus, 478 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:23,948 but there was a silver lining. 479 00:17:25,507 --> 00:17:27,455 "I expected more, Alex." 480 00:17:28,942 --> 00:17:30,010 Alex! 481 00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:32,389 I am gonna call Haley and tell her 482 00:17:32,390 --> 00:17:33,560 we're not going to that deli. 483 00:17:33,561 --> 00:17:35,152 I can't take another minute of Cam. 484 00:17:35,153 --> 00:17:36,254 You know, I'm not even sure 485 00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:37,936 I believe all these new parenting theories, 486 00:17:37,937 --> 00:17:40,883 but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let her tell me they're wrong. 487 00:17:41,157 --> 00:17:42,702 We are not going to dinner. 488 00:17:42,703 --> 00:17:44,120 I tried that sandwich. 489 00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,016 It's not that good. You're not missing anything. 490 00:17:46,245 --> 00:17:48,644 I sure won't miss seeing Luke and that stupid medal. 491 00:17:48,645 --> 00:17:50,807 I play by the rules. Where's my medal? 492 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,708 Jay can stay with that Maxine. 493 00:17:52,719 --> 00:17:54,306 She's not loud like me. 494 00:17:54,529 --> 00:17:58,384 In fairness, you can be a little quick to give advice. 495 00:17:58,732 --> 00:18:01,144 Well, I'm always ready to help, if that's what you mean, yeah. 496 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,985 Yeah, but if you're not careful, it can come off a little... 497 00:18:05,097 --> 00:18:06,210 Know-it-all-y. 498 00:18:06,522 --> 00:18:07,516 That's not a word. 499 00:18:07,843 --> 00:18:10,988 What you mean to say is, it can come off like I know it all. 500 00:18:12,501 --> 00:18:13,710 I've always been this way. 501 00:18:13,711 --> 00:18:15,239 That's why I wanted to break up with you. 502 00:18:15,641 --> 00:18:18,073 The word "fired" doesn't even apply. 503 00:18:18,074 --> 00:18:19,962 You can't get fired from a favor. 504 00:18:19,963 --> 00:18:22,145 Okay, sweetie, maybe you should just let it go. 505 00:18:22,146 --> 00:18:24,719 Like I always say, it's better to carry a tune than a grudge. 506 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,036 Okay, you... You've never said that, but... 507 00:18:27,153 --> 00:18:29,449 And--and what about this grudge you're holding against Claire? 508 00:18:29,450 --> 00:18:31,295 I don't see you trading that in for a tune. 509 00:18:31,296 --> 00:18:32,514 That is completely different. 510 00:18:32,515 --> 00:18:34,305 She insulted my parenting skills. 511 00:18:34,306 --> 00:18:36,924 Which, you have to admit, you can be pretty defensive about. 512 00:18:39,487 --> 00:18:41,728 Okay, so maybe we both can be a little sensitive. 513 00:18:41,729 --> 00:18:43,283 N-no. No. 514 00:18:43,284 --> 00:18:45,808 Mnh-mnh. No. These-- these are-- these are not equal. 515 00:18:45,809 --> 00:18:47,840 No, you have no idea what it feels like to be fired. 516 00:18:47,967 --> 00:18:50,445 Yes, I do. I've been fired. Everyone has. 517 00:18:50,552 --> 00:18:51,498 Not me. 518 00:18:52,181 --> 00:18:53,796 - Never? - No. 519 00:18:53,990 --> 00:18:56,613 Nope, I've always been very good at what I do. 520 00:18:57,044 --> 00:18:58,777 So then maybe what you're feeling 521 00:18:58,778 --> 00:19:01,398 is a little insecure about your work for the first time. 522 00:19:03,521 --> 00:19:04,912 That's hogwash. 523 00:19:05,138 --> 00:19:06,710 As someone who's seen actual hogwash, 524 00:19:06,711 --> 00:19:08,400 I can assure you that it's not. 525 00:19:09,077 --> 00:19:11,322 I don't know why you're so bothered by Maxine. 526 00:19:11,361 --> 00:19:12,429 She's nice. 527 00:19:12,494 --> 00:19:14,871 Oh, good! Why don't you, Jay, and Maxine 528 00:19:14,872 --> 00:19:17,309 live together, eating sandwiches forever?! 529 00:19:18,473 --> 00:19:20,255 Can I float a theory here, mom? 530 00:19:20,438 --> 00:19:21,956 You sound like you're jealous. 531 00:19:21,957 --> 00:19:23,301 Please! 532 00:19:23,327 --> 00:19:25,641 Me jealous of that woman? 533 00:19:25,818 --> 00:19:28,758 I just don't like the way they talk to each other! 534 00:19:28,759 --> 00:19:30,499 And the little jokes, 535 00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,754 and she knows everything about his life! 536 00:19:33,043 --> 00:19:34,964 Just makes me feel like, em... 537 00:19:38,527 --> 00:19:39,959 Is that jealous? 538 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:44,758 Ay, my poor sisters. 539 00:19:47,593 --> 00:19:50,496 Just you? I thought the whole family was swinging by. 540 00:19:50,497 --> 00:19:51,419 Who knows what they're doing? 541 00:19:51,420 --> 00:19:53,001 Right now, they're all sniping at each other. 542 00:19:53,002 --> 00:19:54,156 Ah, who needs 'em? 543 00:19:54,157 --> 00:19:55,534 Right. As long as I have you, Maxine... 544 00:19:55,535 --> 00:19:56,637 I'm off in five. 545 00:19:56,638 --> 00:19:57,989 Hey, Luke! 546 00:19:58,140 --> 00:19:59,698 What's with all the hardware? 547 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:02,724 Well, he set fire to a school and lied about it. 548 00:20:02,725 --> 00:20:04,421 You know they give medals for anything these days. 549 00:20:04,422 --> 00:20:05,704 It's going back tomorrow. 550 00:20:06,061 --> 00:20:07,792 He doesn't get a lot of medals. 551 00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:11,406 I just really need one of these. Hey. 552 00:20:12,261 --> 00:20:14,390 - Don't hold back. - Oh! 553 00:20:14,391 --> 00:20:16,064 - My girls. There they are. - Hi. 554 00:20:16,065 --> 00:20:17,610 - Hello, hello. - Hi, all. 555 00:20:17,611 --> 00:20:19,501 - Hey, Cam. - Hey! 556 00:20:21,619 --> 00:20:22,616 Come on in! 557 00:20:25,326 --> 00:20:27,643 I, uh, I appreciate your coming. 558 00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:30,906 - And, again, I really, really-- thank you. - Yeah. 559 00:20:30,947 --> 00:20:32,998 - There she is. - Well, look who made it. 560 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:35,277 Hola, Maxine. So nice to see you. 561 00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:36,699 Let me get you some menus. 562 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:37,631 We don't need it. 563 00:20:37,632 --> 00:20:39,553 It's Jay Pritchetts all around! 564 00:20:41,814 --> 00:20:44,031 Gloria, if you want your sandwich without anchovies, 565 00:20:44,032 --> 00:20:45,321 - I won't be offended. - Aw. 566 00:20:46,397 --> 00:20:48,090 Of course, then it'll be a Jack Feldman. 567 00:20:55,644 --> 00:20:57,186 - Hey. Hmm? - Yeah? 568 00:20:57,187 --> 00:20:58,793 - Hey, man. - Is the repair guy here? 569 00:20:58,794 --> 00:21:00,085 He's working on it. 570 00:21:00,521 --> 00:21:01,338 Um, listen, uh, 571 00:21:01,339 --> 00:21:03,380 it's Katie's birthday, skip's assistant. 572 00:21:03,381 --> 00:21:05,397 Big 3-0. Still no ring. 573 00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:06,499 You woke me up to tell me that? 574 00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:08,223 No, no. I-I grabbed you some cake. 575 00:21:08,224 --> 00:21:10,283 Oh, sure it's not for employees only? 576 00:21:10,284 --> 00:21:11,842 Okay. Had that coming. 577 00:21:11,843 --> 00:21:13,034 Who are you talking to, Phil? 578 00:21:13,035 --> 00:21:14,365 - Mitchell. - Who? 579 00:21:14,366 --> 00:21:16,517 Mitchell, my br-- uh, the lazy guy. 580 00:21:16,518 --> 00:21:18,022 I was doing you a favor. 581 00:21:19,435 --> 00:21:21,190 All right, just give me the cake. I'm hungry. 582 00:21:22,032 --> 00:21:23,162 No! Oh. 583 00:21:23,762 --> 00:21:30,662 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:02,600 www.tvsubtitles.net